The answer is not always
outside. Look within.

What? You don’t like MEN?
No. I am monogamous.

:)

I think I love the new year.. ;) Up until now anyway.. I am trying to pull a Pollyana on myself and this seems to be working somewhat. The people aren’t that bad either nowadays…:) Today I even witnessed something I thought I would never in Bangalore. People caring about other people’s business. In a good way. Today the volvo conductor tried to drop of two clueless older men almost a kilometer before Manipal Hospital when the bus was stuck in traffic. He said they were to get down there and walk. Then this man in the bus asked them to sit down, and told the conductor off. When he stuttered about not being supposed to stop at the junction, he was like ‘Then you are supposed to stop at Kodihalli and ask them to walk back. Not drop them off wherever you stop’. I wanted to clap, but of course I didn’t being a wimp.. :P

Happy 2009 to us!

On Sunday we went to Mekedatu.

It is near Kavery-Arkavathi Sangam; you have to walk across the river to catch the bus to Mekedat. After a bumpy ride in a battered old bus, all you see is some stone steps. But climb down and you forget to breath. :)

The river is beautiful, and the rock formations are quite a view. It did occur to me it would be real fun rafting in there.

Now, the photoes. Am stealing it from Sajin and he doesn’t know.. ;P

I was sitting in the bus looking at all those people in the world when it occured to me I was special. I cannot say occured, rather remembered. I forget a lot of things nowadys about me. So I am sitting in the bus, looking at people. Different people. All walking, trying to get somewhere. Beautiful women, silly young men, running children. I look at the faces, and it is funny how we all have these little projections in the face, and how it defines each of us. When I look at human flesh objectively, it almost looks alien; and ugly. I wonder how the evolution took place. How did we reach this common shape which is so different? So many people. So many living things. Such a hierarchy. I wonder if the dogs consider themselves the dominant lifeforms too.

This earth is so interesting. It started with me, and it will end with me. My world is my consciousness. For all practical purposes, the world began when I began to comprehend it. I wonder why it is me that is me. Why this person, why here at this time of the universe’s life, and I in the earth with a consciouness that makes me a part of it? Isn’t it unfair that I start in between, and then I don’t even get a chance to see this through? Will this knowledge of existence cease when I no longer live?

I do not even know why the thoughts that make me is me, but I can see that I am special. I am, because I am the world. Without me, there is nothing. The world -my world, which is the only one- begins and ends with me, and that is the only truth we all have.

I am so absolutely bored of life. I need adventure, my own millions and jets, and chocolates and books and happiness and tea and conversations.

I wish I would be brave enough to do something absolutely stupid. Daring enough to run away and be a rag picker, write a book, make a baby or murder someone. Something. Anything.

I would give up my whole life for one interesting day.

Dhanya tagged me, or so she claims. The tag is about my addictions, and I do not know of any.. :) Well, I do have some, like having a headache if I don’t drink tea. When I was young and stupid, I decided I wouldn’t be addicted to anything so kicked off the habit. But after a couple of months a wiser me decided being adicted to tea was actually not so bad. And the withdrawl wasn’t something that will kill me if all tealeaves in the world disappeared one day, so here I am, with my sweet smelling cuppa.

I consider myself very addiction-prone(is that a word?), so I try not to get addicted to stuff. That is the only reason I don’t drink or do drugs. See if I knew I could do it, I wouldn’t stop doing it, so I would rather not do it in the first place. Cool? Now, let me see what are my addictions. They keep changing by the way. These are my little harmless addictions today. I know the first one is not harmless but I wouldn’t admit it yet. :P

1. Games – And I mean computer games. I hate being addicted of course, but once I start playing I can’t stop.. ;P It is FreeCell and spider solitaire in the evenings, and “just one game” leads to just one more and I eat and sleep sometime after midnight. It is Kolor balls and KSirtet and KAtomic at work. I know.
2. Tea – What is life without a cup of tea in the morning?
3. Finishing a book – I read books in one go. I just can’t sleep without finishing the book if it was remotely interesting to me. Oh, and sometimes, just sometimes, I read the end in between and read backwards and read from different sections and reach the stuff I have read already and pick a new section. Wouldn’t be a problem if it wasn’t fiction.. ;P

Can’t think of anything else. I have likes. Addictions? NO. I love chocolates, I love chicken(and there are days when I am hungry for meat) and internet chatting and pizzas and burgers and browsing and TV. I do overindulge. A lot. Especially TV and internet. But not right now, and I don’t think of them as addictions. I can still change the habit. What if I have 13 tabs open in two browsers right now? What if I click on get mail every 15 seconds and reload google news every 15 minutes? Why shouldn’t I check the blogs I read a dozen times a day? I am sure I can stop doing it whenever I want. Or, can I? Am I addicted to the internet? Oh my goodness…

I really should close the browser.